Did you know that by age 10 almost half of the children in the US have a cell phone? Do you know that the average 13-17 year old sends 2000 text messages a month? Do you know what sexting is? Do you know that 1 in 5 teens report receiving sexual advances in chat rooms?
If you’ve got a 3 year old you might think that you don’t need to know much about social media as it applies to children. You study up on the best preschools, right? So, you need to be prepared to understand all the possible avenues of interaction your children will be engaged in as our world rapidly changes. Personally I’m pretty stunned that 8 year olds have cell phones, I can’t imagine why.
As parents, it’s important to educate yourselves on ways to support your child’s use of technology in a safe, productive way. There are tools available for parents to monitor and ‘control’ what children access on the TV, the internet and the phone. Yet according to an article in the Nielsen Company blog, roughly 50% of parents set no controls or restrictions on their children’s cell phone usage. Many educators and psychologists would maintain that children and young teens don’t have the maturity to make informed decisions and can’t judge what is and isn’t appropriate behavior in this new world. For example, take the 10 year old boy who snapped a photo, on his cell phone, of his partially dressed older sister coming out of the bathroom, then sent it to a friend. In some jurisdictions that’s considered child pornography. He thought it was a funny prank… sibling antics. He had no understanding of what he’d done in terms of respecting privacy, or the sexual implications.
We’re in a brave new world here, I can tweet a few innocent words that will linger in the internet world for all eternity. They can’t be erased. Some person in Siberia can read my blog, can translate my words instantly with a free software tool. We don’t know who we are talking to when we’re in a chat room, reading a blog, or looking at a positive product review. People hire ‘writers’ to portray commenters, I’ve seen the job descriptions. Adults with bad intent go to chat rooms, frequented by vulnerable people-children-and pretend to be a child or teen themselves. They fake the stuff, talking to kids about their interests, asking them about their habits and lives… you see the ads. It really happens.
So what do you do? Here are a few simple tips that most parents probably know and understand; you may already be doing these:
- Set some guidelines and family policies relating to internet and cell phone usage before your child is ready to use the computer.
- Keep computers in family areas, do not allow personal computers in your child’s room
- If your child will be using an instant message program, go into the program and review the parental controls. Set up some restrictions as to who your child can send or receive IMs from. Do the same with her email program.
- Communicate with your child. Ask about her internet usage, monitor her activity.
- Keep up to date yourself, learn about all the possible options available.
- Talk with other parents, see what they think about the topic and what their children are doing.
- Know what social media tools your child is using, for instance, does she have a Facebook or MySpace profile?
Admittedly there are complex issues here to deal with. As a parent our responsibility is to protect our children. When they are very young we teach them not to run into the road and we might admonish them for breaking the rules. The dangers change as our children age, they don’t lessen and our role as parents is to monitor and guide. There is a fine line between snooping around in a child’s life and providing appropriate supervision. That being said, I do suggest that you review cell phone bills to see what their activity is. I also suggest looking at the internet history (under Tools >Internet Options >General >Browsing History) to get an idea of what sites you child is visiting and whether it is something you approve of.
This is not easy stuff, being the Child Police, but you’ll never regret being involved in your child’s life. Being a ‘hip’ parent can be a bragging right for your child and establishing the lines of open communication will help you both as your child goes through life. You want to be the one she is comfortable talking to about her problems as well as successes.
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Giving voice
“What motivates people to go online and on the record with personal opinions and information? In part, it is the very human need to be heard and to connect with others. It is the desire to make a difference, to influence the world around us. It is the drive to evangelize on behalf of the things and the people we love. And it is the ongoing quest for authenticity in a world governed by image.” (A Pocket Guide to Social Media and Kids)
iKeepSafe is an online resource for parents, educators and kids, conceived by several Governors and First Ladies. They have some great resources and a series of short videos. This video provides some basic tips for parents on on the topic of internet safety.
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This is a challenging topic, what are your thoughts on this? If you have some guidelines you’d like to share, please do.
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