Football is one of the more dangerous sports played in the US and ironically, one of the most popular. The dangers of football range from bumps and bruises to life-threatening concussions and spinal injuries. This past weekend is being referred to as one of the most violent ever in football. There were numerous helmet-first hits or collisions, in college and pro football resulting in severe injuries to at least 5 players across the nation, bringing the issue of helmet injuries to the front pages. And, this has implications for youth football and the safety of our children.

According to this recent New York Times article we are seeing an escalation in the number of concussions at a time when youth from ages 6 and up are wearing helmets that are old, unsafe, damaged and in general, inadequate for protecting our children. There are no specific national guidelines for helmets that apply to concussions, the helmet standards were established to prevent skull fracture. The standards we do have, have not been changed or modified since 1973.  And, according to this article, parents, coaches, and even the athletic associations are unaware of some of the related issues with helmets.

“Only about 10 to 20 percent of football players of high school age or younger wear a new helmet, which can cost from $150 to $300. The vast majority of headgear is handed down for years and at various points undergoes a reconditioning process that costs about $25 to $45. Most get reconditioned every one or two seasons, which most experts recommend. But data closely held by the National Athletic Equipment Reconditioners Association, Naera, indicated that about 500,000 young players this fall were wearing helmets that had not undergone this basic safety check, which encounters glaring failures of its own.”

So, what does a parent do? Do we keep children from playing football and redirect them to a less violent sports activity? In my mind this is a two-fold issue. We are looking with more intense focus on the safety of helmets, but the weekend’s violence stems as much from an aggression that would seem to be endorsed and promoted, explicitly and implicitly, as a necessary part of being the best football team.  Is that the kind of attitude we want our children to learn at an early age? Winner takes all, at any cost?  Sports for youth is as competitive as it’s adult counterpart. Let’s not kid ourselves with this one; parents who love football want their children to be competitive. Winning is what counts.  The attitude of winning can trump the other values we try to teach our children and grandchildren in life. Can we have loving, compassionate, helpful young people who also thrive and excel at football? Maybe, but it seems unlikely.

I could easily live in a world without football. What about you? How do you feel about this?

photo from In Fashion Kids . com

You’ve decided to breastfeed your first baby. What next? You get lots of books, read up , buy the nursing bra, and talk to all your other friends who have breastfed babies. And, you think you’re ready?

There is really no way to explain the ‘down’ side of breastfeeding-wonderful as it is, in so many ways, there is a lot of adjusting for you. I recall some of my scarier, you must be kidding kinds of moments. The minute your breast milk comes in and your breasts turn into this humongous rock hard lumps. The first painful moment when baby meets breast.  We all have stories to share.

This cute article is meant to be light-hearted, it’s not to offend or send you running for the can of formula. It is a hilarious look at some of the things you are bound to experience with breastfeeding.

Parenting e-zine has this article on their pregnancy page called Suck it! The REAL Way to Prepare for Breastfeeding. It took me  back in time.  For example, get dressed for dinner at a fancy restaurant and arrive with 2 wet spots on your breasts. For many of us, when the normal feeding time arrives, or when another baby cries, there is an immediate reaction and your milk starts to flow-ready or not! I’ve gone out in public and spend the whole time trying to hide a wet spot on my blouse.

Day 7: Tape a water balloon to each breast and squeeze into a maternity bra. Repeatedly hook and unhook the nursing flaps with one hand while using the other to balance a sack of squirming puppies.

It’s worth a read whether you’re an old pro or will be  breastfeeding for the first time. Just remember to have a sense of humor! And, I’d encourage your partner to read it as well, it will help him understand what you’re experiencing. And, day six is all about him!!

Breastfeeding is a precious gift, for all concerned. It’s quality time with your baby and it’s the best nutritional start you can provide an infant. And, through and after the discomfort there is a satisfaction for mothers in knowing they’ve provided this gift for their children.

For more information of a serious, practical nature be sure to read one of my earlier posts on breastfeeding. There you will find links to products we sell at Little Butterfly Kiss and some resources on breastfeeding.

photo by Raphael Goetter on flickr.com

Halloween is here, with all the delights and anticipation of trick or treating, handloads of sugary treats and the fun of going door to door. You’ve got the costumes by now, and have decorations up in the house and yard. Everything is almost ready as you count down to the big day.

One of the big fitness centers in our community is holding a fun event this year; Trunk or Treat. Families will have a trick or treat tailgating event, in the center’s parking lot, followed by fun activities in the gym. It sounds like a delightful way to have fun and make sure the little ones are safe. Happily, I’m out of that situation, so I can just sit back and watch from afar.

I’ve looked around a few of the popular parenting sites but I don’t see much in the way of safety tips for Halloween. Maybe the assumption is that we’re all familiar with what to do and what not to do. But, I thought I’d offer a few suggestions.

• Accompany trick-or-treaters younger than age 12. Pin a piece of paper with your child’s name, address and phone number inside your child’s pocket in case you get separated. Encourage older kids to trick-or-treat with a group of friends, parents or older siblings. Make sure someone in the group carries a flashlight with fresh batteries. Mayo Clinic

• Swords, knives, and similar costume accessories should be short, soft, and flexible.  CDC

• Consider adding reflective tape or striping to costumes and Trick-or-Treat bags for greater visibility. American Academy of Pediatrics

• Children shouldn’t snack while they’re out trick-or-treating.  Urge your children to wait until they get home and you have had a chance to inspect the contents of their “goody bags.” FDA

And, the basic rules we talk to our children about regularly; don’t go into anyone’s home unless you have an adult with you. Stay with a group and carry a flashlight. Don’t trick or treat in unknown neighborhoods. Make a plan for where you’re going, what time you’ll finish up and what to do in case of an emergency.

If you give some thought to safety precautions early on, then you can enjoy the evening.  Have fun!

Image by peasap at Flickr.com

Have you begun buying holiday gifts for the children yet?  How about the gift that won’t get lost in the bottom of the pile, a gift that will serve your children for years to come.

As the days shortened and the temperatures begin to drop, it means we’re approaching the holiday season.  Christmas decorations will be up in a matter of days and holiday music will start playing on the radio. It’s a wonderful time of family togetherness and celebration. And, a time of gift-giving. It’s a time when we show our love and thanks to those around us. We’ve gone from a simple show of appreciation to a frenzied all-out shopping event that threatens to take away much of the symbolism and meaning of the very holidays we’re meant to be celebrating. I’ll be focusing on tips for keeping the holidays simpler and more celebration focused over the next several weeks, but today I want to talk about gifts.

How do we approach gift-giving for children? I’ve been thinking about this, personally, and as part of the series I want to write here on Little Butterfly Kiss.  I love gift-giving and try very hard to find the right gift for each recipient; it may be a baked good or a service or something I’ve purchased, but it has to feel right for me. For children I think that’s particular difficult, especially if there is an expectation. I get pretty turned off with the name brand lists I’ve seen over the years (from my children and others).  I don’t really want to give gifts that I find inappropriate or offensive, which would include Barbies, toy guns or games with violence

As I was thinking about this and reading some of my regular blogs over the weekend, I found an article that helped put things into perspective and provides the inspiration for today’s post. Over at Naked Girl in a Dress; Rediscovering Life at 40(Something), I found this post about gifts that last a lifetime.   I loved the idea and wanted to share it with you and the list I’ve come up with.

So, what would I give my grandchildren that would last a lifetime?

• Unconditional love
• The understanding of their worth as human beings
• A desire to show compassion to others
• Curiosity, a quest for knowledge
• The security and stability of a loving family
• A world free of discrimination and violence, a peaceful and loving place
• A good education
• A world free of gender discrimination, where my granddaughters find they can achieve anything they can dream of accomplishing

If I could wrap these wishes up and set them under their Christmas tree I would indeed have given them gifts to last their lifetime.

What would you add to the list?

Do your children or grandchildren ever whine or misbehave? Do you handle it well or get caught up in the emotional battle? I’ve just come back from a quick visit with the grandchildren, short and sweet…for the most part. The four year old is in that icky oppositional stage. One minute she’s smiles and cuddles and the next minute she’s whining, or pouting, or demanding. I found it hard to keep my own emotions in control around this and as the grandmother it’s not my place to offer an opinion. I have the luxury of being able to walk away from the situation and let mom handle it. But, it’s still irritating and challenging.

We were getting in the car this morning and I was standing with the car door open, talking to the 4 year old as she buckled herself in her car seat when suddenly she got whiny about the silliest of things. My reaction? I simply shut the door and climbed in the front seat; I ignored her, and admittedly felt a little guilty about doing so. She stopped the whining immediately without her audience.

This incident came to mind as I was reading a great post on dealing with child behavior, titled “Just Ignore It“. The author differentiates between times when the behavior can be ignored and those times when some intervention is called for; she also addresses those moments when  acknowledgment is necessary, often a simple statement to confirm their feelings while not addressing the underlying, and disruptive behavior. I think this article has some of the best advice I’ve ever seen on dealing with behavioral issues.

It is very easy for a parent to get emotionally caught up in the issue and make the situation worse. Knowing that we, the adult, are in a reactive mode allows us to look at our emotional reaction and set it aside. Meeting anger with anger never really works and ends up reinforcing challenging behavior, when that’s not our intention. It’s that old “count to 10″ before reacting advice we’re given as new parents, something that is easy to offer but very hard to follow at times.

The author, Barbara Rowley, points out the need to determine if the behavior is intentional or not, as in the case of  a two year old who dumps out a clean basket of laundry and proceeds to jump in it. She also notes that as parents we will want to respond differently depending on a child’s age which means that we have to look at the incident with some clarity and understanding of our children. If the four year old is jumping in clean laundry we have to assume that she knows the behavior is wrong and our respond must take that into consideration.  She might need a ‘time-out’ whereas the two year old would need a few words and to be redirected to a more appropriate activity.

I recommend you read the article, it’s clearly written, gives numerous examples and includes personal stories from Ms. Rowley, a parent herself, as she has dealt with her own child’s behavior.

How do you deal with disruptive behavior? Are you able to be calm and collected most of the time, or do you find yourself being emotionally drawn in?

photo from www.devereux.com